But baby when you're done, you gotta be the first to run
Rule number two, just don't get attached to,
Somebody you could lose..
You know the sucky thing about falling? You can't always expect that someone is going to catch you, and you spiral downwards and shatter into pieces too small for superglue. (Not that I'm allowed to play with superglue, but that's another story).
I've always maintained that love is just a chemical reaction. An increase in Oxytocin (females) or Vassopressin (males) causes us to bond with whatever member of the opposite sex we happen to run into. This isn't cupid's arrow - it's hormones. Different chemical reactions trigger different types of attachment: lust, passionate love, long-term attachment, and the inevitable crazy psycho.
Love at first sight? The inevitable spark? What's your thought on these theories? Love or lust? There's this psychological theory that one psychologist put out not too long ago that says the last thing we should look for in a mate is a spark. In fact, for people who have mostly unfulfilling relationships, that little spark, those butterflies fluttering in your stomach? Those are your body's warning signs - a telltale "Run! Run far, far away ad never look back!" (Isn't it hilarious when the chronic runner is justifying running with psychological studies?)
According to this psychologist:
You need to walk away when you meet someone with whom you feel a serious spark. In such cases, the spark signifies that there is a part of you that is afraid that you couldn’t 'get' him or her to be with you, which triggers excitement and the attempts to try to prove to yourself that you’re good enough to get him or her to be with you.
So, there you have it. Don't justify that instantaneous spark as a reason to want something. Sparks start fires, and when you play with fire, you are bound to be burned.
Taking it back to me, I don't do the feelings thing. Feelings are scary. My motto has always been "Never love anyone more than they love you." It keeps me in the power position. Vulnerability? Not my strong suit. I'll take "love 'em and leave 'em" over baring my soul to another person and risk getting hurt. I don't try to meet people these days. It's mostly just amusing blog fodder that I can someday post.
